The Power Of Two

As I get older, slowly and surely I am getting surrounded by family and friends that are turning to the new chapter of life - marriage. I recently started to observe married couples (both, young and old) in my family and friend group. Something I had noticed, and my mom confirmed when she was giving me relationship advice was, 'keep your relationship between you and him, don't involve people'.

Have you any of you also noticed that? Married people are really tight lip about the ins and outs of their relationship compared to people that are just dating. In my mind, I figured out that they don't go running to the people their trust every time their is something to tell (and you know very well that most of the time, we go running with bad news and not good).

I took the advice and observation I had made, and put it into practice in my last relationship. My recording of that relationship: I enjoyed a bit more than my previous relationships because it was MY relationship. It was nice not running to my friends and trusting myself and my partner to sort our issues/ solve our issues without outside opinions (I invited) being contributing factors. Another benefit is that you don't have to now go back to your friends/family explaining your reason for the decisions you took, that is usually the opposite of what they advised. It's the best advice that I am currently using.

You will in the beginning have a knee jerk reaction to go running to your people, but go against that and choose silence and time as your first option. The two highlighted words are very powerful, as this is all that is needed to resolve a matter (sometimes). It allows for you to slowly process your emotions and thoughts and you might realise that there is no need to involve others, it is a matter that can be easily resolved just between you and your partner.

Trust your intuition, and your partner. You know what's best for you (firstly) and your relationship. I am in no way negating that your friends/family don't give good advise or have your best interest, and that you shouldn't go to them. What I am advising is keep it to a minimum (and please speak out especially if you are being abused (physically/mentally/emotionally), as you will learn what to tell and what not to tell.

As family and friends, we should respect people's relationships and should not feel entitled to know each and everything that is going on in our friends/families relationships.

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